Beautiful passionate couple is having sex on the bed

SEXUAL PASSION: IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT SEX

Passion is what drives an individual to do something different. When you are passionate about something, you give your best, regardless of what it may be. Passion is what makes the difference between being successful and being a low-achiever. The difference becomes very apparent between the two.

Passion is defined as “strong and barely controllable emotion” as per the dictionary.  The topic of passion is vast. The importance of the nature/characteristic of passion touches every aspect of our lives.

Everybody seems okay as long as the passion is glued to a person’s trait. But the instant passion is related to sexual behaviour, and it becomes a taboo. Majority of people still feel uneasy to talk about our “sexual passion.”

The narrow-mindedness of our society to avoid discussing “sexual passion” has led to a vast amount of misconceptions. Sexual passion does not only mean it has to be about sex. There are countless factors that contribute to sexual passion.

“One of the most fundamental misconceptions that people have is between Passion and lust.” Most people fail to distinguish the difference between the two.

The definition of lust according to Oxford dictionary states: “a strong sexual desire or a sensual appetite regarded as sin.”

Passion as per Oxford dictionary is defined as “a strong and barely controllable emotion or a thing arousing great enthusiasm.”

In terms of definition, “lust” is something that is more or less related to sexual desires. Passion on the other hand passion has a broader meaning. The definition of passion does not confine itself to sexual behavior. It is therefore worth noticing that sexual passion does not necessarily mean sexual behavior of a person or a couple.woman biting on her red lips

DIFFERENTIATING PASSION AND LUST

The first step towards understanding what sexual passion actually means is to distinguish between lust and passion.

Passion can mean a lot of thing to different people. People can be passionate about their carrier, about their hobbies or about anything unrelated to sex. Lust, on the other hand, is about one thing only: sex. Being passionate sexually is entirely opposite to lust. When a person is passionate about their partner, they develop a sexual passion. This passion means more than just sex. Sexual passion is about sharing a stronger bond with one’s partner and letting them feel loved. Sexual passion goes beyond just being intimate with one another.

Lust does not go anywhere beyond sex. A person does not care about sharing a bond with their partner. It is all about physical intimacy and nothing more. A person is only attracted to their partner’s physical nature.

“A relationship based on trust and respect yields passion. A relationship built on sexual attraction yields lust.” It is natural to understand that a relationship built on trust lasts longer. With time the relationship becomes stronger. Developing sexual passion is only natural. When sex means more than “just sex” in a relationship, it is usually a sign of a mature relationship. Being passionate for one another is healthy in any relationship, a couple can be passionate about their respective hobbies, their carriers or sex. This allows a couple to respect their partner’s feelings. Sex becomes a way of expressing their love for one another. This is what sexual passion in a healthy relationship represents.

“A relationship built on lust does not go beyond the “honeymoon phase” in any relationship.” This means that sex becomes boring after a specific duration of time. When there are no feelings involved with sex, it just remains a plain way to get pleasure. With time the physical attraction shifts from one partner to another. This creates a sense of low morality in any person.

“Studies suggest that couple that develops a sexual passion for one another have a healthier sex life.” Many people tend to have this problem of having sex to avoid disappointing their partner. When a couple shares a mature sexual passion, sex is more of a complementary nature as opposed to one-sided feeling. Lust is more than often a one-sided sex affair. A person does not respect their partner feelings enough to understand that their partner may not feel the same way every time. Sexual passion is about respecting one’s partner feelings. More than frequent, a couple sharing healthy sexual passion feel the same about sex. They don’t compromise on pleasing their partner not by force but because it makes their relationship stronger. Sex becomes a means of expressing that a couple is still attracted to one another.

As absurd as it may sound, “sexual passion and lust can co-exist.” A healthy relationship needs both the element of passion as well as lust. It is vital to know how to balance passion and lust in order to maintain a healthy relationship. The ratio of couples that successfully balances the two is very less (1 out of 100 couples). Sexual passion alone may deteriorate a sex life in the long run. Studies suggest that most couple having a healthy sex life indulge in different things (sexually). This is where a limited relevance of lust arises. Now, this is where most people get the wrong idea. Lust can be seen as good (as limited as it might be), in the sense that, couples can use it to reinvent their sex life by trying different things.

Basically, “sexual passion” is something that makes up the foundation of a healthy relationship. The fundamental element of “sexual passion” is not only about sex. It is more about respecting one’s partner feelings (sexual or otherwise), trusting their partner, good communication with one’s partner and being honest. Lust, on the other hand, does not involve anything other than sex.

A simple example to illustrate is this: a relationship with a healthy “sexual passion” is like a house built with a solid foundation. It does not collapse easily and is reliable. “Lust” on the other hand is like a fancy house with no basic foundation. It looks good initially but collapses under little stress. Now when a couple balances “passion” and “lust” correctly, it becomes more like a house with a solid foundation (“sexual passion”) that lasts long. But the house still needs renovation (“lust”) from time to time to keep the house from being damaged.

Now that Lust and Sexual passion have been differentiated, it is easier to see that there can be various factors that contribute to sexual passion. A person develops a passion for their partner when they are in a mature relationship. This means a relationship that goes beyond just having great sex with one’s partner. Often times couples focus too much on their sex life. They forget that there are various aspects of being in a relationship. In short, there are more important things in a relationship than just sex.

Sexual passion is not a transient phenomenon. It can be achieved only when a couple takes their relationship to mean more than just physical intimacy. Sexual passion is a gradual process. One does not just develop a healthy sexual passion for their partner in an instant. It’s like different stages of maturity in a relationship that ultimately leads to the development of a sexual passion for one’s partner. A relationship without “these level” of maturity cannot evolve to establish a sexual passion for one another.

Different stages of maturity that must be attained in a relationship that ultimately results in the establishment of a healthy sexual passion are as follows-

Woman in love playing with her boyfriend's hair

Woman in love playing with her boyfriend’s hair

Stage I: Love 

Now, this seems pretty obvious. Love and relationship are inseparable. A relationship without the basic element of love is just two people using one another as a means of pleasure. The “pleasure” can mean a lot of things depending on different couples. It can mean sex, money or anything relevant to different couples.

Any mature relationship involves a healthy sex life. The “sex,” however, does not mean anything if a person does not love his/her partner. Sex is more about feelings and sharing that intimacy with one’s partner than just pleasure. If a couple cannot go beyond “just physical pleasure,” the relationship just becomes meaningless. It puts us back to the argument of lust and passion.

Love is the most fundamental aspect of a relationship. When a person truly loves their partner, it means they love their partner for who they are. They love their partner for a person that he/she is. A person loves one’s partner as a person, their nature, their habits, and their interests. This “love” goes beyond going to bed with one’s partner. Love extends to all aspects of a relationship. In fact, sex becomes secondary when a relationship means more about genuinely loving one’s partner.

Stage II: Trust 

Trust is probably the most complicated aspect of any relationship. The concept is simple, and yet it is the most common factor that every relationship struggles with. Maybe the idea is too perfect for a person to incorporate. All the other aspects of a relationship “goes down the drain” if there’s no trust involved in it. It is too infectious a thing that ruins a healthy relationship. All the great sex in the world doesn’t matter if there is no trust involved in a relationship. Trust can mean a difference between a healthy relationship and a “toxic relationship.”

When a person is in constant doubt about one’s partner, their relationship can never last long. The constant fear that one might be cheating on the other person arises doubt in every aspect of their relationship. With “no trust” everything just becomes insignificant. It leads to frustration and anger. A mature relationship has no room for doubts. A person needs to trust his/her partner, trust them that they won’t cheat on them or they won’t hurt them.

Stage III: Respect

This is one aspect that most relationship tends to ignore or remain ignorant of. The role that “respect” plays in a relationship is what “joins” all the different characteristics of a relationship. “Love” without respect dies out quickly, and the same applies to “trust.” If a person respects his/her partner, there is no room for “doubt” in a relationship.

It is very vital that a couple respects one another. This means respecting each other’s space, interests or their value. This is very rare to find in any relationship. The most relationship is always about being together all the time, and this is where couples get it all wrong. Respecting one another’s space does not mean staying away from each other. It just means that a person respects his/her partner enough to let them make their own decisions instead of forcing their partner to make certain decisions. “Respect” is one of the primary attributes that lead to the development of a healthy “sexual passion.”

Stage IV: Communication

Having a partner that one can have a productive communication with is an absolute joy. Communication in a relationship does not just mean talking dirty. It is a sign of a matured relationship when a couple can talk to each other about any topic and share their opinion. It is more about “general communication” than just communication that ultimately leads to sex.

Having open and healthy communication is essential for any long-lasting relationship. It is crucial that couples can have a productive argument and has the freedom to voice their opinions. “Mutual communication” as opposed to “one-sided communication” is more productive. When a couple accepts their partner’s opinion and comes to a productive conclusion, it usually means that the relationship is mature.

Stage V: Supportive

A supportive partner is ideal. Many a time, couples in a relationship are too busy with their individual interest to care about their partner’s interest. Having a partner who supports one’s interest and encourages that ultimately leads to better relations. Any mature relationship must have a supportive foundation. This means believing in one’s partner’s passion. Being supportive increases the magnitude of all the other factors whether it’s Love, Respect, Trust or Communication. There is no greater encouragement for a person than to know that their partner believes in them and share his/her interests.

A supportive relationship always leads to developing “passion” between the couple, whether it is passionate about each other’s interest or sexually.

 All the above characteristics of a relationship ultimately lead to the development of “sexual passion.” This is the ultimate symbol of a “complete relationship.”  

“Sexual passion” does not only mean being passionate about sex. Once a relationship has achieved all the “different stages” that includes “Love, Trust, Respect, Communication and Supportive nature” the development of sexual passion comes naturally. Now, being passionate about sex isn’t a bad thing in a relationship. However, one should not subject passion for sex alone. Sexual passion is often misunderstood as something that is related only to sex.

The above “stages of a relationship” are all a part of sexual passion. Without achieving all that, it is not possible for a person to feel passionately for his/her partner. Sex is natural and no one should be ashamed of his/her “sexual passion.” Everyone should be free to express their sexual passion to their partner without being judged. There is a fine line between passion and lust, and one must be cautious not to mix these two (explained above). As long as one clearly differentiates between the two, it is perfectly natural to feel sexually passionate about their partner.

 When we talk about “sexual passion”-

  • It means being passionate about one’s relationship.
  • Being passionate about one’s partner.
  • Being passionate about trusting one’s partner.
  • Being passionate about supporting one’s partner.
  • Being passionate about making the relationship stronger.
  • Being passionate about respecting one’s partner.
  • Being passionate about making the relationship mean more than “just sex.”

Sex becomes a secondary component in “sexual passion” once a person truly understands what being passionate is about. Sexual passion is but a combination of all the essential attributes of a “complete relationship.”

 

 

 

 

 

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